Friday, July 31, 2009

Why the Geek's Guide to Getting the Girl?

This blog is not for you if you’re the guy who wants to date big breasted, ultra-hot women who you think usually go for the rich, good-looking guys but, no, really, they could go for you, too. This blog is not even for the average guy who wants some Maxim-esque tips on sex and dating.

This blog is meant for the socially-challenged, heterosexual male geek. Someone who has a high IQ, a vast knowledge about many things and a special interest in science and math, is on the cutting edge of technology and in many cases works in the computer industry, loves being right and correcting others on minutia, and has trouble fitting in with mainstream culture (and probably disdains it).

This blog is meant for someone who doesn’t know how to drink scotch in public and has had fewer sex partners than I have and is socially awkward because he’s shy, unpracticed, or suffers from social anxiety. It’s for the guy who has more online friends than friendships with people he’s met in person, for the guy who has never had a date, a girlfriend and/or sex.

Or if you don’t want to fess up to that, it’s for the guy who hasn’t had a date, a girlfriend and/or sex recently.

Sound like you?

Why am *I* writing this blog? Because I personally know a lot of you and I’m tired of your bitching about not having a girlfriend.

And because there is hope. Every last friend of mine who is chronically single in his 20s, 30s or 40s is single because he lacks certain social skills and dating know-how, or because he isn’t willing to take the risks necessary to find a lover--not because he’s too fat, boring, obnoxious and/or insensitive. Your friends and acquaintances may secretly believe that that is why you are single but those obnoxious bastards are wrong. In truth, fat people, boring people, obnoxious people and insensitive people (take me) are just as likely to be in a relationship as scrawny, interesting, sweet and kind people.

With you in mind, I’m writing this blog as a guide to help the geek figure out how to overcome the challenges that keep you from getting the girl.

If you haven’t dated much, it‘s easy to hold on to the beliefs you had about dating when you were in high school. It is time to shed these beliefs by letting them see the light of day and, like a vampire, become dust in the sun of our inspection. So next week I’ll begin blogging about the Eleven Geek Dating Myths. (I tried to make it ten, but sometimes ideas come in prime numbers.)


  1. This is a subject I've been fascinated in for a long time. I've only just started coming out of my nerdy shell (at 29), and I'm kicking myself for not mustering up the confidence earlier.

    There's really nothing to be scared of out there. There is no evil succubus waiting to devour us. Unfortunately... :-)

    I'm a big fan of cross promotion and a very good friend of mine has a sex/romance blog ( and a crap ton of readers. Many of them are geeks and I'll tell her to mention your blog if you're interested in a few hundred clicks headed your way. Otherwise, she digs your goal and asked if you were interested in a foreword if you're planning to compile these thoughts into a book.

    Keep up the good thoughts and frank subject matter. Let me know what you think about the rest!

  2. Thanks for the feedback! Cross promotion would be fabulous!

    I've got a book finished but am putting the book idea aside for the moment as I figure out the best route to go (publishing house? lulu?) but I'll keep the forward idea in mind!