Friday, September 4, 2009

Myth 11: “Dating Is About Game-Playing”

Actually, now that you’re an adult, you don’t have to pull girls’ pigtails, or pass notes to friends of the girl, or play hard to get, or calculate exactly how many days you should wait before you call her so you won’t seem desperate.
Are some women game-players? Yes. Are some women incapable of directly saying “I’m interested in you” or “I like it when you lick my armpits while we’re doing it”? Yes. But, good God, why would you want to date those women?

And if find yourself game-playing, who do you think you’re going to attract? I’ll tell you: overly tanned women who try to drink men under the table and end up living with addicts and/or abusers. Or eighteen year old girls.

The advice. Quit over-analyzing. Take what people say and *do* at face value. She may not directly *say* she isn’t interested but her actions can tell you this very clearly: if she takes more than a week to call you back, she isn’t playing hard to get. She isn’t interested. If she flirts with your best friend, she’s not trying to make you jealous because she’s really into you nor is she trying to show you how cute she is. She likes your best friend. If that ends up being a misinterpretation, that isn’t your fault. It’s hers. Does it mean you might lose out on a few dates? Yes. But better to skip those encounters and so avoid ending up with a game-player.

You can larp with vampires but don’t date them--not the emotional vampires anyway.

And that’s the last of the eleven dating myths!

Now that we’ve finished with the myths, take some time to reflect back on all of them. Make a list of all the things you don’t do because of myths you hold about dating. These activities might include not taking swing dance lessons (myth two), refusing to go on blind dates, and not asking out the girl you have a crush on (myth nine). And now the challenge: choose an item from your list and do it in the next month. And let me know what happens!

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