I know I said I was going to address speed dating this week but instead I’m going to jump into online dating and write about speed dating in a few weeks. (I think I should probably do it before I go pontificating about it...)
I frankly don’t know why anyone who is single and looking does not use online dating. You have instant access to hundreds of women in your area. You can get a lot of information about them before you waste any time talking to them. Women tend to be more open in their online profiles than they typically are on a first date, so you have a better idea of what you’re getting. And it’s a lot easier on the ego to be rejected online than in person. So she didn’t respond to your email stating your interest? Big deal. There’s another woman who looks interesting. Another one and another one. Being completely ignored or brushed off face to face at a party is a tad more awkward. So pick a service and sign yourself up!
When I used online dating, I never posted my profile for public viewing. I preferred to approach my dating life as a consumer, not the consumed. I wanted to pick the men I was interested in and not be bothered by weirdos who couldn’t read and sent me emails wanting to know if I’d join their cult and directing me to Web sites where I could read all about Them. For you, I advise publicly posting your profile. You want to get some practice. You want to date as much as possible. So don’t close any avenues available to you.
First up: How to Make a Good Online Dating Profile
Catchy Title. You’re looking for a smart woman, right? Be a little more creative, witty and original than “Hello there!” or “Man Seeking Soul Mate” or similar bland, generic titles. Be clever. Take a common phrase and make a twist on it--like “Wanted: Conductor for this runaway train of thought.” Make a reference that the kind of woman you’re looking for is likely to get. Don’t be too obscure. You’ll come off as pompous or just downright weird if the reference is misinterpreted. Could be song lyrics. Barenaked Ladies’ lyrics are eminently usable. Being blunt is also catchy: “Geek seeking Geek-lover (or Geek Lover)” is a little bland but will likely generate interest by the kind of woman you’re looking for.
Photo. Include at least two photos. Do not include a bunch of head shots from the same “photo shoot.” That comes off as vain. And better to avoid having a woman your age in the picture even if it’s your sister. Don’t use a photo where you’ve cut the woman out and her hand is still visible on your shoulder. Use recent photos--within the last year. Yeah, you were thinner five years ago, but you haven’t built a time machine yet and she’s going to be dating the you that you are now. Casual snapshots--unless you’re particularly photogenic--are almost always more flattering than a posed picture. Whatever physical feature you have that is most attractive should feature in the photo. If you have a great body, don’t be shirtless (please!), but have one of the photos be a full-length picture of you in a tight-ish (not tight) shirt and jeans or a well-cut suit. I have to admit, though, a friend of mine says that she is fine with the shirtless shots as long as you are clearly at the beach and it’s a snapshot, not a posed photo showing off your abs.
Next week: Writing A Little About Yourself for Your Online Profile