Things Never to Say to a Woman

Never say:

* “You do look like you’ve gained weight,” or “You look heavier than your photo. Was it taken like five years ago?” Yes, even if she has clearly gained weight and is heavier than advertised.

* Criticism of her hair, her wardrobe, her driving, her cooking, her decorating, her dancing. Really just don’t criticize unless she asks for constructive criticism. Which she doesn’t want from you until you’ve been dating for at least three months, even if she says she does.

* “Don’t you shave your legs?”

* Jokes in poor taste, such as “If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” Of course that one is more than just in poor taste. It hasn’t been funny since 1902.

* “Quit crying, I can’t talk to you when you’re crying.”

* “You’re just crying to manipulate me into doing what you want me to.” No, genius, she isn’t trying to manipulate you. She’s angry. Or sad. Or fearful. Or humiliated. That’s what tears mean, idiot. Also she’s probably embarrassed that she’s crying in front of you, so quit drawing attention to it.

Time for some action!

The Least You Can Do
Pick a first date outfit.
Ask two or three women out.

Honor Student
Ask two or three more women out after the first two or three reject you.

Next week: Sharing and Caring, or How to Be in a Relationship