Woman-to-Geek Dictionary, Part One

Women are complicated creatures. They look for symbolism, nuance, and secret messages in everything the men they are interested in do. This is not because men act in symbolic ways or give off nuanced or ambiguous messages, but because women act in symbolic ways and give off nuanced and ambiguous messages. Women assume that because they themselves do that, men will also. Hence the revelatory nature of the book He’s Just Not that Into You. At least it was a revelation to womankind.

Women also like to lie. Women tell themselves that they are being “nice” or “modest” but what they’re really doing is refusing to be adults and express clearly, and take responsibility for, what they want. In the one case, she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying she isn’t interested and, in the other, she doesn’t want to get her own feelings hurt if you’re not interested in her. And this, as you may have already noticed, is why it is sometimes difficult to tell if a woman likes you. Unless she’s crazy infatuated with you, she is unlikely to flat out tell you she’s interested. And unless you are actively stalking her and it’s freaking her out, she’s unlikely to tell you she’s not interested. And even then, she might call a cop and have the police officer tell you for her.
So how to tell?

Some Clues that She Is Interested

She initiates touch. But pay attention. If she’s touching you on the arm or knee, that’s a pretty good indicator in your favor. But is she that type who hugs everyone? If so, then her touch is meaningless. Sorry.

Physical closeness. “Accidentally” bumping into you.

She smiles when you casually touch her. Let’s not be groping her at this stage. You don’t even know if she likes you. I’m talking about touching her on the shoulder in the course of conversation or touching her back to get around her at a crowded party, etc.

If she asks you “What is the difference between +10 Intelligence and +10 Wisdom?,” she really, really likes you.

Up on Friday: More Clues That She’s Interested