With the Charmer, I move into talking about rivals whom you might actually want to be like.
Definition: He’s suave. He’s good looking. He orders his martinis shaken, not stirred.
What He Has that You Don’t: Social skills. Good looks. Fashionable wardrobe. Great body. A cool car.
The Type of Women He Attracts: 20somethings.
What It Tells You about a Woman if Her Last Boyfriend Was a Charmer: She’s too young for you.
What to Do to Be More Like Him:
Physical attributes: Dress better. Work out. Perfect your smile (braces, whitening).
Hobbies: Dance (club dancing and swing dancing). Play guitar. Sing. Write songs/poetry (no prerequisite for them being good.
Behavior: Talk primarily with women. Flirt/smile all the time. Have lots of female friends.
What to Do to Win Over a Woman When the Charmer Is Your Main Competition:
You’re likely screwed if she’s already enamored with a Charmer. Even if he spurns her, she will still be infatuated with him for a year or so and not be interested in going out with anyone else. And, no, trying to be her shoulder to cry on will in no way work.
If she hasn’t totally fallen for him, though, you can edge out the charmer by being more available. Charmers typically have a number of possibles in their lives. Show her she has no competition with you. This can be a dangerous move--it could make you seem unattractive--but it is a necessary move. If you want to be devious, set things up so that she sees *her* competition flirting with *your* competition, the Charmer. The more unavailable he seems, the more interested she will be in you--provided you are a Sensitive Guy. Sensitive Guys are the less socially adept, but more spiritually deep, version of the Charmer. I’ll write about the Sensitive Guy next Tuesday.
Up on Friday, the Adventurer.