Apathy vs. Involvement

Another value on which you'll want to match a long-term partner is your level of apathy/involvement, which shows up in different arenas: politics, your own health, the environment, etc.

Are you more of a laissez-faire sort of person? Do you think there isn’t much you can do to improve your health, that it’s mostly determined by biology, so why exercise, see a doctor regularly or eat healthy? Do you think it doesn’t matter if you recycle or take the bus instead of driving? What difference does one person make? Then you are on the apathetic end of the scale. Look for someone who shares your apathy.

Or do you vote, engage in local politics and write your senator on a regular basis? Do you try to do what you can to be healthy and keep the environment vital? Then look for someone who takes an active role in her community.

If the two of you are not near each other on this spectrum, it will drive both of you nuts. If you’re apathetic, she will worry about your health, and nag you about it, and ultimately she will not respect you for failing to do anything about the wrong in the world. If you’re the engaged one, she might find your optimism encouraging and even infectious at first, but ultimately your energy about politics, the world, health, etc. will grate on her nerves as all she wants to do is relax.

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