Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Dry Spell

But what is the relevance of anything in these last few posts about identifying your your match if you can’t even manage to get *any* dates, much less find a mate or girlfriend? Let’s say a year has passed and you’ve implemented the recommended changes on this blog, and you’re still at home every Saturday night, looking at pictures of Jupiter on the National Geographic Web site with no dates in sight. Is it hopeless?

All of us have dry spells. Even yearlong ones. If you have a life you love and someone to bitch to (preferably someone in your same dateless circumstance--partnered people will have no patience with you), you can get through a dry spell.

If it’s more than a dry spell, be really honest with yourself:
*Are you making dating and socializing a priority? If you live in Alaska, you aren’t making it a priority. Which is fine if you really love Alaska. But quit your complaining about not being able to find a girlfriend.
*Have you done all you could to be available and attractive (i.e., followed *all* the advice in this book)? Do you have an online profile? Have you lost some weight? *Do you have interesting hobbies?
*Do you need a reality check from a brutally honest friend about what you do that puts women off? Ask a friend about the kind of first impression you make. Are you a loud, abrasive know-it-all? Do you tell stories that put you in a bad light--either by being painfully boring or by highlighting your least appealing traits? Do you give off an aloof, cold, unavailable vibe? Being shy can make a person seem distant and unapproachable.
*Lastly, do you have emotional issues that need to be worked out in therapy?

If you can be truthful with yourself and then *do* something about it, you will not want for dates.

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