Friday, August 28, 2009

Myth 9: “The Fantasy of a Relationship is Better than an Actual Relationship”

Okay, so some of the time this is true.

All right, it’s usually true.

But not always. And the risk really is worth it.

I had this friend, who had never dated and she was in her mid-thirties. She met this guy in a book group and had this huge crush on him. When we talked about guys, she always talked about him. She was not interested in anyone else. When I asked her why she didn’t ask him out, she said, “What if he rejects me? Then I won’t even have the fantasy of dating him.”

Last time I checked she was still single.

It’s a cliché, but the difference between successful people and losers really is that successful people fail more often.

The advice. My friend would have cared less about being rejected by this one guy if he wasn’t the only guy. If she had been interested in three other guys, it wouldn’t have mattered if one of them rejected her. There would still be three more on the line. There it is again: don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

Up next, Myth Ten: “I can make her like me”

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