Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Myth 4: “My Life Will Be Perfect When I Am with Someone”

Myth Four: “My life will be perfect when I am with someone”

This is that “you complete me” bull crap. You’re miserable now? Once you get over the first flush of infatuation, you’ll be miserable with someone. And if you’re not as miserable, it’s because you’ve given your girlfriend part of your misery and she’s eventually going to re-gift it to you when she dumps you to be with someone who’s not so depressed and depressing to be with.

If you date because you need to be with someone, you’ll end up dating someone who needs to be needed, the dreaded Martyr Girlfriend. Date because your life is so fabulous you have to share it with someone.

The advice: Complete yourself. If you’re depressed, then exercise, eat well, sleep at least eight hours each night, quit doing stuff you hate, get outside every day and expose yourself to sunlight, take your vitamins, journal, volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, and have body work done (like acupuncture, cranio-sacral massage).

And get into therapy.

Up next: “The interesting women only date a**holes/charmers/good-looking guys/guys with money”


  1. When it comes to dating and approaching women, my views of it often swing from hopeless romanticism to utter anxiety. As such, it is refreshing to see someone give me some level-headed perspective on the whole sex and dating thing. And although I noticed some of your advices myself - (un)fortunately, not quite through my experience for I am a geek - it is still assuring to see that I'm not the only one who arrived to these conclusions.

    Keep the articles coming! :-)

  2. Thanks for the feedback! In my experience, all too often being a hopeless romantic is just a few steps away from feeling hopeless--like a sugar high followed by a crash... In the weeks to come, I'll definitely be addressing the issue of anxiety--both in its lesser form as mild social phobia as well as its paralyzing form of panic attacks.