Actually we’re not. Really. You can check Wikipedia.
Women are a lot more like you than the two thousand year old elf you pretend to be every week for fun. If you can figure that out, you can figure us out.
If we tell you we’re really busy at work right now and we’ll get together when our lives aren’t so hectic, we’re not interested.
If we kiss you back, we do so not only because we like kissing but because we like you.
Clear enough?
Okay, so some things we do and say aren't as straightforward--and I'll talk about those things when I get to the "woman-to-geek pocket dictionary" in a few weeks.
Next up, Myth Nine: “The fantasy of a relationship is better than an actual relationship”
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Actually, I said I would get together with someone when work wasn't so hectic, and just meant that work was hectic and we would get together when the schedule eased up. We've been together 6 years.
ReplyDeleteSometimes there are exceptions...
Yeah, on the one hand I can understand there are times and situations where you may not want to give a direct refusal, on the other hand I call bullshit on that kind of indirect approach. I'm not a mind-reader, I'm not going to play guessing games to figure out what you "really" mean; if you say you're busy and we'll get together later when you're not, I'm going to take you at your word. Look at it from the other side: if you *are* really busy but *do* want to get together later, wouldn't you be just a little disappointed and annoyed if I assumed you meant you weren't interested and hooked up with someone else? (More so if you asked me to call you back at a later time and I never do, than if you said you'd get back to me, but still.)
ReplyDeleteI know what you're saying, Phil. Myself, I'd rather be direct in cases like the above--although there is definitely a place for the indirect--we'll get into my rant later about having to be direct all the time...
ReplyDeleteBut *you're* behavior should *not* be any different whether the woman means "get lost" or if she really does mean "I'm just busy right now." Either way you aren't going to be calling her until she contacts you. Whatever she "really" means, you get on with your life and when her time frees up, it frees up and if you're still available, cool. And if you've hooked up with someone else while she was busy at work, she shouldn't be annoyed by that--such is life! The woman in this case shouldn't expect you to wait around for her--what a weirdo if she did! I certainly don't expect a man I barely know to wait for me--that's kinda creepy actually... (And it's not like you couldn't date them both at the same time!)
Yeah, I've been overstating my case on this. Of course there's both context and subtext in any conversation and it's to be expected people will be indirect, and that's fine. It's just that I know I already have a problem with overthinking things, so I find it frustrating and aggravating to be told I'm supposed to know what a woman "really" means instead of just taking her at her word. (Again context is key here, there are plenty of situations where I do pick up on cues and it's not a problem—maybe a disappointment, but I'm not breaking out in tantrums.)
ReplyDeleteThe rest of your points are well-taken.